Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pillow Talk

My favorite time of day is climbing into bed with my partner, hitting the pillow, lying face to face and cuddling and talking. The day is over and we can truly focus on each other. There are no kids, no interruptions, and nothing that needs to be done. Some of our best conversations take place during this time. We keep a soft light on and we just look at each other and talk about everything. Most of the time, this emotional connection leads to a total physical connection and it seems like making love becomes even more beautiful. This is now a topic of conversation with my girlfriends and how they interact with their husbands at night. Sometimes they tell me that they live vicariously through me and my dating. I feel like I've learned so much from my dating. Some of the mistakes I made with my late husband will rarely if ever happen again. Anyway, a couple of my friends have asked their husbands about "pillow talk". Maybe more couples will walk away from the TV or the computer or a book they are reading and interact with each other and maybe even reconnect. Time in bed with a spouse, partner, best precious. It's special. We never have the TV on when we go to bed. I can count the number of times we've ever watched TV in bed on one hand and they've all been times when something was on we both wanted to watch while we snuggled. Sometimes we'll have music on but not very often. In the end it's all about the mood you set for yourself. This is what works for us. Maybe, just maybe, it'll work for you...

Friday, December 3, 2010

Date Night

Stressed out world, kids hectic schedules, exhausted by the time dinner is over, but need to reconnect with partner. Does it feel like the last thing you want to do? You just want to go to sleep, but we all need to connect with our partners every day. We need to work at the relationship. We need to talk, listen, and touch. So what about having a date night once a week? Why not get a babysitter and get out no matter what; just walk away from the kids. For me, I get to go out once a weekend and my girls get to go out once a weekend. It must be a priority. If making time for your partner isn't a priority then why isn't it? Some of us have time for just about anybody and anything else.

So many couples run around all week and exist only for their children. Have you noticed how many spoiled kids there are out there? Kids today are so selfish and so overindulged that they don't even value their own parent's relationship. Don't you think that parents should realize the value of their own relationship as opposed to being only a Mom or Dad?

Talk, Touch and Listen

This is my very first blog entry. I am a fairly young widow with three daughters. I had what I would consider a good life with my late husband, but didn't realize how much I had lost until I was really alone. I've been dating on and off for several years now and have learned so much about what is really important in a relationship. It's actually the reason I haven't settled down again. Mostly, I think it's about connecting through both communication and sex. It's important that men and women get to share their feelings without being afraid of criticism or being made fun of or whatever. Men seem to feel like they can't be true to their feelings and sometimes put up a wall. The men who I am most attracted to are the ones who can let down their guard and feel safe enough to tell me exactly how they feel whether good or bad. In regard to sexual relationships, I don't think people get how important human touch is to our well being. When I feel loved and can give and receive affection, it makes every other facet of my life as a single parent easier. When I say, "why doesn't anybody get it?", I mean why can't people understand how important it is to be nice to each other and to love and to touch and to talk and to listen and to think more about their partner? It's really very simple. But many people just don't understand. The divorce rate in this country went over 50% in the past year or two. How much of that has to do with the complete lack of communications between two people. How much of what happens could be healed or even never have been an issue if open communications between the partners happened from the beginning? I'm guessing there are millions of people sitting in front of TV's right now, not talking. I'm guessing there are millions of people moving in separate directions, doing separate activities, doing anything but communicating with each other about the things in their lives that count.